Advice to My Younger Self

A couple of things I’d impart to my younger self:

Always hold onto that feeling of being made fun of. You know why. Once you know how it feels to be made fun of, you don’t want to make anyone else feel that way. So, hold your tongue when you think you’re about to ‘make a joke’ about someone else. To them, it may hurt their heart more than you’ll ever know.

Travel. As soon as you can, travel. You can go after high school. You can go after college. You can go for 2 months – or 2 years. But once you start your career, or have kids, or get married (if your spouse isn’t much for traveling), your opportunities to go are going to take a nose dive.

There’s so much goodness in traveling. You learn about others, you learn about you, you grow, you create friendships, you get outside yourself and your own world and you connect with the world in different ways.

Don’t fall for advertisements. They’re everywhere and they’re ridiculous. Baby oil will give you you a better shave than shaving cream any day. It’ll also be the best eye make-up remover, as will any oil (coconut oil, olive oil, etc.), so don’t buy the $12 bottle of make-up remover.

Learn to verbally stand up for yourself early. You’re going to need it throughout life. Learn how to do it with tact if you want, but just get familiar with how it feels. Care less about hurting the feelings of the offender and more about teaching people how to treat you. 

Don’t start drinking coffee. There’s no need, and you’ll save a bunch of money if you don’t add it to your days. Find a different warm drink. There are plenty you can choose. 

Don’t beg your mom to get rid of all her plants. Ask her to teach you how to keep so many varieties alive. You’ll want them in your own home later and you don’t understand their benefits in your home right now. Be inspired by how she’s able to to tend to all of them and not let one of them die. You don’t know this, but you’re gonna (somehow) kill an aloe vera in your life.

Keep trying new things. You’ve always been great at this, but this is your reminder. Everything seems impossible until you learn how. Yeah, you’re gonna struggle in the beginning; that’s why beginnings exist – to start the learning process. You’ll be amazed what you enjoy once you learn how to do it / use it / create it.

Care less about how you’re dressed and appreciate the fact that you are dressed. Who cares if it’s new? Who cares if it’s old? I’ll tell you who cares – your peers, your friends. Why do they care? What good does it do them? Heck if I know, but think about that. The better questions are: Does it fit? Is it comfortable? Do you feel good in it? Is it appropriate? Good. Then you’re good to go.

Stand firm in the fact that none of your clothes or accessories define your character and your heart. Sure, they can be expressions of you, but regardless, they don’t make you better or worse than anyone else. 

Care about your grades. You’re not going to be taught this, but the grades you get in high school can set you up for great colleges. You’re not going to get taught about college in school either, so do you own research. Sit in the front row and that’ll create less distractions which will then allow you to pay better attention.

Never, ever, ever be afraid to ask questions. If you really don’t want to take up class time, go see the teacher later. If tutoring is available, take it. One on one learning can be so much more effective. You won’t love every class, but compete with yourself. Set a goal and see if you can knock it out of the park. Also, you’ll learn later that it’s not always you. Trust me, some teachers teach so much better than others.

Don’t take bribes, and always tell someone about it. I guarantee you no advancement will be worth you compromising who you are. You’ve been blessed to not have to deal with what a lot of women have dealt with, but if anyone guarantees you they’ll “give you that if you’ll only do this”, give them a big fat no thank you (I wouldn’t even care if you were tactful about it), and go let someone, or multiple someones, know.

Be okay with fighting back physically, especially if you’re being physically violated. If it’s words that are the culprit, learn how to deal with that, but if it’s physical, don’t think twice about losing your job or creating a scene. Do what’s best for you at that moment in time. I support you.

Most importantly, just like the song teaches, never hide the light of Jesus in you, ever. Lead with love. Yes, that’s going to make some people uncomfortable, yes it’s going to create divisions between you and others, yes some of your friends may not want God in your friendship, but you know what? It’ll all be worth it in the end. Don’t think about the now. Think about loving people well and letting God do the rest.

It can be lonely at times, but God will bring you the people you need. Or maybe he won’t. Either way, don’t let satan blow out your light.

Now go conquer the world, slowly and lovingly.

You’d be the coolest little sister,
Big V