How to Go From a Follower to a Leader

I was a big time follower in elementary, junior high, and early high school. I did what my friends were doing, I didn’t want to sit alone in the cafeteria, I didn’t want to be left out of things, so I always followed. I didn’t want to be by myself feeling awkward.

At a certain point in high school, my brain switched and life got sooo much better.

I don’t recall the details, but I know that there was something I really wanted to do. It was like I had denied most of my wants up to that point (either because it felt weird to be by myself or I was too scared to go by myself). But whatever this thing was, it completely pulled me out of that mindset.

The want to do the thing finally outweighed the fear of being alone. 

It was similar to going to an amusement park and really wanting to ride this one ride, but no one else wants to so you just sulk inside… because you’re denying yourself of something that lights you up. But you finally get to the point where you say, screw it. I’m doing this thing – even if I’m doing it alone.

And the weird part is – at that moment, I became a leader… completely unintentionally. Someone joined me.

It felt so freeing to do what I wanted to do for a change. It felt empowering. It was good for my little growing soul. Even if someone hadn’t joined me – just the mental switch of saying “I’m doing this because it’s what my heart wants” rather than “I’ll go with y’all because being alone feels weird” changed everything for me.

I gained confidence. I don’t quite know how that works, but I started feeling better in my own skin. Like I said, I felt empowered. It was like a chain came off my ankle. Maybe a chain of approval. 

Since then, I’ve loved hanging out with me. In fact, when my life is full of other people for too long, I start missing me. Me time. Hanging out with V. I love me. And I love not needing other people to validate my worthiness. 

Ever been there?

It's never too late to change,
Venus Monique