He is Not a God of Confusion

When my husband and I got married, he suggested I stopped working so I could fully focus on acting. 

If you’re not familiar with the motion picture industry, almost everything is last minute – auditions, bookings, callbacks. You rarely have more than three days notice.

So I did. And it still isn’t easy to accept.

By choice, I don’t watch tv (it makes me feel incredibly unproductive – plus there aren’t that many shows that I think are worthwhile). I rarely watch movies but if I do, they’re usually documentaries.

I feel like I do pretty well with my time. I plan. I research. I run errands. I clean. I reorganize. I put things into action. I don’t do things out of guilt or trying to feel worthy. It’s just part of who I am.

But I still want to bring in consistent income. Who doesn’t? I spoke with my husband about maybe working on the production side of things for a show or two. It would be more consistent work than acting and I would get to learn what goes on in their world, thus making me more well-rounded in the industry.

So a couple of weeks ago, I went to the production office of a bigger project filming here and spoke with one of the ladies. I told her my thoughts and asked her how she got started. She told me how I could get started.

When I left I was confused. I reeeeally want to work. And I know that industry work is something I’d enjoy. But as I thought about putting into action what she advised, I couldn’t help but think of what acting opportunities I might end up saying no to.

I don’t know what my future holds. What if the next few months are when I meet that one person or work on that one show that God uses to catapult me into a “higher” working arena. I was confused, and just as I was leaving the parking lot and hitting the u-turn, it hit me: God does not operate under confusion. Bam.

There’s  a quote by Charles Spurgeon:

“Discernment is not a matter of simply telling the difference between what is right and wrong; rather it is the difference between right and almost right.”

Or as Priscilla Shirer puts it in her bible study, The Armor of God:

“Remember, the enemy’s overarching device is deception. He shades reality with enticing and alluring colors, seducing us away from black-and-white principles. He propagates fantasies, causing temporal and insignificant things to somehow appear immensely valuable and favorable.

He hides consequences in the fine print while highlighting only the part that appeals to our shortsighted, self-gratifying flesh. His packaging is so clever that unless we know what’s true – I mean really know it at our core – we easily fall prey to his ploys.”

That’s what I felt was happening. Satan was trying to entice me… with money, with consistent employment, with being in the industry, etc. Yet, in the fine print, there would be consequences of which I’m not even aware.

As soon as the Holy Spirit put that in my heart, I knew I shouldn’t work in production.

God doesn’t operate under confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace…”. I called my mom and she let me talk it out with her. I remember saying something along the lines of, “I really do want to work in production, but I know my motivation is wrong. My motivation is money.”

This may not seem wrong to many people, but when God has spoken to you what He spoke to me, then acting out of accordance with that feels like disobedience. Those words felt like a command. Not one of the ten commandments, obviously, but a command to me. Seeking my own route for income would feel like a total lack of trust for my Creator and what He has for me.

Would He punish me for getting a job in production? Not likely, but I'd be out of His will. This is what faith is… trusting Him even when it doesn’t seem to make the best sense.

Pray and push,
V

If you decide that you want God in your life, here's a simple prayer you can say quietly or out loud:

Dear God, I'm a sinner. I’m sorry for my sin; please forgive me.

I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son and that He died for my sins and You raised Him to life.

I want to invite Him into my heart to take control of my life.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

(No pressure, but if you do say this prayer, I'd love to know so you're not stuck with the thought of, "Okaaaaay, what now?")