Have Your Parents Crushed Your Heart?

The other day, I was brainstorming and thinking of all the things my parents had said to me when I was younger that broke my spirit, made me feel less than, killed my confidence, or wounded me so bad that I never forgot them.

Parenting had been on my mind at the time, and I was thinking of why I turned out like I did. I often think of the way my parents raised me and how I want to raise my kids.

After really thinking back to the times I got in trouble, the times I tried something and did a poor job, or the times I needed some love or attention, I literally could not – and still cannot – think of even one moment where my spirit was crushed by my parents’ words or actions.

Now, don’t read that as I never got disciplined because I assure you, I felt the belt on my butt way more often than I liked. But when it comes to how they disciplined me, their words never wounded my spirit.

I remember a long talk about having to earn back my parents’ trust because what I had done showed that I couldn’t be trusted. They said it was going to be like stepping stones to make my way back to the point where they could trust me. I’m pretty sure I got my butt busted for that one.

The only time I can remember really getting my feelings hurt was when my dad found a long, rattle snake near the house and had put it in a 5 gallon bucket.

All of us kids got around to look at it, and I leaned in really close, totally amazed at the thing, when my dad swiftly pushed or pulled me back and got on to me.

My feelings were hurt because I really wanted to see the snake up close – however…. I didn’t know anything about it being in the “striking” position.

After that incident and my feelings getting hurt, I realized why my dad responded like that. That snake could have popped me in the face quicker than anything I’d ever experienced.

So, that was definitely not a spirit-crusher. It hurt my little kid heart at the moment, but hello? What dad wouldn’t react like that for his little girl? It actually makes me feel super loved.

I truly, truly hope that one day my kids can look back during adulthood and not think of a single moment in their upbringing where something we did or said crushed their heart or made them feel inadequate or incapable.

I fully understand the magnitude of the blessing it is to be able to say that about my past and my parents.

I’m so amazed and grateful that they left me no wounds when they sent me into the world on my own, and I can tell you IT'S BECAUSE THEY WERE CAREFUL WITH THEIR WORDS.

If only all parents realized that their words can be a weapon of destruction or honey for the soul.

If your parents damaged you, I hope you can find inspiration from my mom who went through damaging things in her life - but decided to flip the switch when it came to raising us.

Pray and push,
Venus

Oh, yeah – there was also that time my mom didn’t ask me if I wanted any scrambled eggs for dinner. So I ran away. To the tad pole pond across the street. That one hurt my feelings a lot. Obviously.