Standing Up for Myself

I’m always up for change, especially when it comes to growing myself.

Lately, I’ve felt the want to attack a weakness of mine that’s come up over the years…

Being bold and standing up for myself.

I’ve struggled with the balance of being kind, giving the benefit of the doubt, and addressing the line when it’s been crossed.

Sometimes it’s easy to identify when the line’s been crossed, and that’s when standing up for what’s right or standing up for myself is effortless.

I’ve walked into the middle of unfair guy fights to break them up (6 on 1 at bowling alley... 2 against 1 in a parking lot).

I’ve punched a dude for grabbing my butt as he walked by me.

But when it comes to less obvious cases, I usually fall on the side of “they didn’t really mean it” or “there must be a good reason for that”. Wrong. Those are just the times when the offense was presented so delicately or inconspicuously that the fighter side of me didn’t jump to defend it.

One of the qualities that I absolutely respect and admire in my husband is his quick response to shut down a wrong. He couldn’t care less if you’re a friend, have a fancy title, cut the paychecks, etc. – if you’re behaving poorly towards him or anyone else, you can bet he’ll address it in no time flat, tactfully or aggressively depending on the offender.

I’d love to have that in my personality.

I think my problem is two-fold when it comes to a “delicate wrong”:

I don’t want to hurt that person’s feelings or make them feel stupid or embarrassed. But then I ask myself, why on earth am I concerned with hurting their feelings when they obviously did or said something inappropriate?

Secondly, I think I’m more concerned with being kind than I am with standing up for myself. Don’t think I’m a push-over or a people-pleaser just because I admit that; I assure you I’m not.

I just know that when it comes to someone “gently” crossing the line, I’m more inclined to give grace than make a poor assumption. And that’s not always what’s needed.

So, the plan of action.

• For one, I know I need to recognize the situations for what they are, which I think I’ve been doing a better job of lately.
  
  
• I also know that if I don’t say something at that moment, I need to readdress it later when I feel either more comfortable or more confident to do so.
  
  
• Then, eventually, I think it’ll become more second nature for me to address it at the moment rather than waiting until later.
  
  
• And, of course, ask God to help me. He can do more in my life than I ever could by my own power.

If you struggle with the same thing, I feel ya. And if you’ve grown out of this, definitely share how you’ve done it.

I just know I want a stronger backbone. And I’m gonna get it.

Always changing and growing,

Venus